How to build meaningful connections.
In a world where social media reduces connection to likes and DMs, digital conversations rarely go beyond surface-level, and the comfort of staying in your own bubble feels safer and far less stressful than vulnerability. Building real connections feels almost revolutionary.
Conversations are replaced by quick reactions; fire emojis, “lol” texts, and those soulless midnight wyd? messages. Enter: the situationship. A gray-area relationship where clarity is blurry, commitment is optional, and emotional investment comes with a return policy. According to a recent study, over 60% of young adults admit to being in a situationship at some point, and let’s be honest—it’s exhausting. If you’re ready to stop navigating relationships with vibes and vibes alone, let’s get into it.
Building Meaningful Connections Starts With:
- Clarity: Know what you want before expecting someone else to define it for you.
- Communication: Say it with your chest. Your needs, your boundaries, your expectations.
- Intentionality: Don’t settle for lukewarm energy when you know you deserve full heat.
- Accountability: Reflect on your own patterns. Are you perpetuating the cycle?
- Courage: Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s the price of entry for real intimacy.
Situationships might be convenient, but they rarely leave you fulfilled. For a deep dive into identifying, surviving, and escaping these half-baked relationships, check out my Situationship Survival Guide. But if you’re ready to upgrade your connection game, let’s talk about the actionable steps you can take today to build something worth showing up for.
Situationships 101: Why Are They So Common Now?
Accountability in relationships can feel like a full-time job. Nobody wants to stress over:
- The dreaded “Why didn’t you text me back?” after a whole three minutes.
- What’s for dinner? Every. Single. Night.
- The logistics of life: Who’s picking up the kids? Who’s taking out the trash?
It’s no wonder situationships are the MVP of modern dating. They’re chill, low-maintenance, and let you vibe without the constant emotional heavy lifting. No labels, no stress, just a comfortable limbo you can ride out for however long you need.
But what about serious relationships?
Yeah, they’re not as “all-in” as marriage, but let’s not act like they’re a walk in the park. You’ve still got to plan date nights, manage expectations, and deal with everybody’s emotional baggage (yours included). Honestly, for a lot of people, even that feels like too much work. The result? Situationships step in as the perfect middle ground between total independence and full-blown commitment.
But why are they more common now than ever? Let’s rewind a bit.
- Back then: Marriage was a survival tool.
- Women often depended on men for financial security.
- Men needed women for domestic stability.
- Getting married wasn’t just cute—it was essential.
- Today: We’ve leveled up.
- Women are thriving independently, from careers to bank accounts.
- The pressure to “settle down” has eased, giving way to more fluid relationship dynamics.
- Having a serious relationship is
According to Pew Research, over 50% of Americans think marriage is now more of a choice than a necessity to lead a fulfilling life. And that choice often leans toward casual connections.
54% in US say marriage is important to a fulfilling life, not essential | Pew Research Center
While situationships might seem like the perfect fix for avoiding stress, they often leave us craving something deeper. Why? Because as much as we love the freedom, humans are wired for connection—more than just casual.
But don’t worry, we’re about to dive into why we crave real, meaningful bonds and what that actually means for modern relationships.
The Science Behind Human Connection: Why We Crave More Than Casual
Humans are hardwired for connection. It’s in our DNA. Psychologically speaking, we’re social creatures by nature, and we thrive on forming bonds with others. When we form these meaningful connections, our brains release oxytocin, the “love hormone.” This little chemical doesn’t just make us feel all warm and fuzzy; it has major benefits, like reducing stress, promoting trust, and boosting overall happiness. In other words, meaningful connections aren’t just nice to have, they’re essential for your mental and physical well-being.
So, how to build meaningful connections in a world obsessed with the situations? You need to first understand that your brain isn’t fooled by a bunch of likes on a picture or a few words in your DMs. There’s more to connection than meets the eye; or the screen.
- Belongingness Theory: According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, once we’ve got our basic survival stuff covered (you know, food, shelter, etc.), we move on to the next thing—belonging. We want to feel seen, understood, and valued. It’s not enough to just be around people. It’s about being around the right people who actually get you. Those are the connections that hit different.
- Attachment Theory: Here’s the big one. We’re born with an emotional need for bonding, and that drive doesn’t just fade away as we grow up. Nope, we’re hardwired to seek emotional security from others. We want to feel safe, loved, and validated. And the only way to get that? Real, authentic relationships that go beyond the surface level. That’s how we’re wired, and it’s not going anywhere.
In other words, deep down, we all want connections that actually mean something and trust me, your brain is making sure you’re always on the lookout for them.
So, now that we’ve established why we crave connection, let’s talk about how to actually make it happen.
Building Emotional Intimacy: Beyond Texts and Weekend Hangouts
If you’re serious about how to build meaningful connections, it’s time to get weird. Yup, I said it. Get a little unfiltered and embrace the quirks that make you, you. So often, we suppress what makes us unique because we’re afraid it’ll turn someone off. But guess what? The more you show your real self, the more likely you are to attract someone who’s actually into the real you. Sure, maybe don’t go full-on “wild child” on a first date (we’re not trying to scare anyone off just yet), but let your true personality shine through, unapologetically.
Why is this important? Because showing the real you is the best way to gauge if this connection is actually worth your time. The right person will appreciate your quirks and embrace you as you are. If they’re turned off, well… that’s your sign to move on and keep searching for someone who vibes with you.
Here’s how to build meaningful connections and create emotional intimacy:
- Put the Phone Down: Seriously, if you’re still scrolling through Instagram while you’re “hanging out,” stop. Being present is the first step in any real connection. Focus on the person in front of you.
- Do Something that Requires Vulnerability: Skip the dinner and movie routine for something that encourages real interaction—whether that’s cooking a meal together, trying out a pottery class, or talking about something personal. Vulnerability is what creates real bonds. If you’re feeling spicy, take a trip. There’s no better way to get to know a person than to travel with them.
- Shared Experiences Build Connections: Go beyond the surface by doing something unique or a little adventurous together. Whether that’s hiking, taking a random art class, or exploring a new city, those shared moments are what solidify emotional intimacy.
At the end of the day, how to build meaningful connections isn’t about texting every minute of the day or spending every weekend together.
It’s about showing up as your true self, being fully present, and creating memories that bring you closer than just surface-level conversations ever could.
Key Takeaway: Emotional intimacy thrives in consistency, effort, and genuine curiosity about the other person.
Practical Tips for Finding Like-Minded People
If you’re ready to ditch the situationships and build connections that actually mean something, it’s time to put in the effort. Building meaningful connections requires intention, clarity, and a willingness to put yourself out there. Here’s how to start:
- Join Interest-Based Groups: Whether it’s a book club, a hiking group, or a local art class, these spaces attract people who share your passions. Getting involved in activities you genuinely care about ensures you’re meeting people who already have values that align with yours.
- Volunteer Your Time: Want to meet kind-hearted people who are in it for the right reasons? Volunteer. Whether it’s helping out at a local shelter, participating in beach cleanups, or mentoring, giving back is a surefire way to connect with others who share a commitment to something bigger than themselves.
- Use Intentional Dating Apps: Some platforms like Hinge, Bumble, or even niche apps are designed to help you find people who want something more meaningful. Skip the swiping games on Tinder and go for the apps that let you be clear about your values and what you’re looking for. Pro tip: Don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions early on.
- Shift Your Mindset from Scarcity to Abundance: This is key. When you believe there’s a “limited pool” of people out there, you start settling for less-than-ideal connections. The truth? There’s an abundance of like-minded people waiting to be found—if you open yourself to the possibility and stop settling.
- Be Clear About What You Want: This may sound basic, but it’s so important. When you know your values, desires, and non-negotiables, it’s easier to spot people who align with you. If someone doesn’t meet your standards, don’t be afraid to walk away. It’s not worth forcing a connection that’s not a fit.
Wrappings things up…
In the world of situationships and surface-level interactions, building meaningful connections is a radical act. It requires clarity, intention, and a willingness to be vulnerable in ways that go beyond swiping right. The secret? It’s about showing up as your true self, making an effort to find like-minded individuals, and committing to the process of building authentic bonds that don’t revolve around convenience.
Stop settling for “it’s complicated.” It’s time to start building connections that make you feel seen, valued, and genuinely happy. Your next meaningful relationship is waiting—but it won’t happen if you keep playing the “safe” game. Get real, get intentional, and watch the connections you’ve been craving unfold.
